I’ve written “Booking a Reputable Medium” in the hope that it will help others make a more informed decision when appointing a medium. You are always welcome to Contact Me if you have questions.
Definitions used in this document
Medium – one that makes themselves available to the Spirit World to act as a go-between. One who has the ability to use more than their 5 senses to gain and pass on information from the Spirit world to the Sitter.
Sitter – the recipient of the information. The medium arranges an appointment with the sitter.
Sitting – the arranged time where the medium attempts to work with the Spirit World and the sitter.
Firstly a few questions:
- How can you know if you are appointing a reputable medium?
- Could you tell whether the medium you are appointing will work primarily with your interests in mind instead of their own?
- Is it possible to work out accurately who the good mediums are? “Good” by definition as being honest, able and working with integrity.
- Can you spot those that have hidden agendas?
In my opinion, it can be quite challenging and is increasingly becoming more difficult. I hope that this document assists you and may get you to consider things you haven’t previously thought about.
What if we all had a look about us?
Wouldn’t it be so much easier if good mediums had a certain “look” about them? Looks indicating that they have been woken up multiple times at night by bumps on the bed. A look that shows they are a bit, well, “haunted”? Maybe displaying an unstable appearance with aspects of emotional wreckage thrown in for good measure? All a bit tongue in cheek admittedly but I do feel it is harder than ever for someone to know if a medium is the right one for them. It’s not just as easy as spotting them in a crowd!
Finding a reputable medium
Those mediums that are genuine and working with the right intentions can quite easily be found. Gone are the days when we had to hide away with a fear of being persecuted for our beliefs. Mediumship is much less of a taboo than of years past so ask about. If a friend has engaged the services of a medium previously ask them how they got on. Word of mouth is a valuable tool. There may be a reluctance to discuss sittings for the fear of being ridiculed or laughed at.
A minefield of intentions
The downside of mediumship is that it has become overshadowed by commercialism and new age hobbyists seeking financial gain. It provides a platform for those that thrive on showmanship. It fuels those that seek the “look at me I’m special” culture. Those with physical egotistical demands at times find opportunities under the guise of “mediumship”. They appear to overlook that mediumship for others is not about themselves. Mediumship attracts those that wrongly think it’s easy and will provide fame and fortune. It regularly turns slightly spiritual people into people with no spiritualism at all. Where ever there is the opportunity to take advantage many do. Sadly work that attracts vulnerable people inherently provides opportunities for those with hidden agendas. Fortunately, there are just as many good mediums openly available too.
There are many reputable mediums available
In the UK we are fortunate and there are good mediums sprinkled all around who work with the right intention. Genuine honest and lovely people hoping to make a difference. They don’t generally drive big flashy cars, you won’t get out of puff walking along their driveways. They are ordinary down to earth people rewarded by the work they do. They often battle with themselves about the “money thing” and all to often subject themselves to far more criticism than anyone else ever could.
An increasing number of mediums are becoming members of professional organisations which have strict codes of conduct and disciplinary and complaints procedures in place. This membership will be something the medium has paid for. It demonstrates that the medium is both genuine and passionate about what they are doing. Over the next few years, I think the number of mediums with professional memberships will increase as legislation is reviewed and I think this is a good thing. If a medium is advertising they have a professional membership you are entitled to ask to see their membership identification details. A genuine medium would not be in any way offended if asked to prove what they are telling you.
Sensible precautions worth consideration
Your experience should be a positive one. Even though it is addressing a very difficult subject. You can with a few sensible considerations prepare ahead of appointing a medium:
- “Well-known” doesn’t mean “good”
- More expensive doesn’t mean better!
- Mediums should not ask personal questions.
- Trust your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right trust your intuition and move on.
- Avoid mediums that tell you what life changes you MUST make.
- Avoid mediums that guarantee you they can get specific loved ones for you. (we can’t).
- Consider asking friends for recommendations.
- Consider speaking with your SNU church who will have a list of local certified and reputable mediums.
- Avoid chat lines and premium rate services.
- Don’t tell the medium anything in advance, you can choose not to disclose your surname.
- Don’t send the medium a social friends request.
- Don’t hire a medium you personally know.
- Don’t tell the medium who you would like to hear from.
- Ask the medium how much the sitting will cost. Check with a couple of others and see if it’s a fair and reasonable price.
- Ask how long the sitting will take.
- Ask the medium how many sittings you will need. If they suggest multiple ones walk away.
- Ask the medium if they will charge you if the sitting isn’t successful. Look for the “you are paying for my time statement” in which case I’d suggest you avoid.
- Ask if you can bring a sitting to an end if it’s not good enough on the day with no costs incurred.
- Ask if you can record your sitting (a good medium has no reason to deny this request).
- Ask if the medium is a member of a professional body. This doesn’t mean all mediums with no accreditation are inferior though.
How long should I wait since a person has passed
There really is no specific timescale. You will need time to grieve, to come to an acceptance and to heal. There isn’t a defined answer.
I’ve often heard the phrase “the sitting didn’t work as you didn’t wait long enough”. I don’t, however, buy into that one. It’s a great alibi for a struggling medium though. Many times I’ve received communications from loved ones within a very short time. Other times it has taken years and some friends I’ve discussed this very question with over 10 years ago still wait patiently.
I believe firstly that great importance should be given to ourselves this side of life to ensure we are ready. There’s no need to rush so just wait until you feel the time is right. I have seen numerous people spending lots of time and money chasing a contact to the point it becomes like an addiction. I’m sure that’s not the intention of our loved ones. They wouldn’t want us to do that.
I would only suggest you first ensure you are in the right place in your life without worrying too much about set timescales. I’ve been asked recently whether loved ones leave forever if you don’t try to connect with them quickly enough. I’m sure that isn’t the case.
During your sitting
Record the sitting or ask for it to be recorded
There are a number of reasons I welcome the recording of sittings:
- it protects you and the medium, providing detailed information in the event of a misunderstanding.
- recordings provide an opportunity to listen back to things you may have missed
- you can share your recording with others that find it beneficial
Don’t just agree with everything
You can tell the medium if you are told something you don’t understand. The mediums connection should be with your loved ones who retain their intelligence, their memories, and their personality. You should ask that the medium explains in more detail anything that isn’t understood. They want to get proof of their survival across. Please don’t just say yes to anything if you aren’t sure. It’s great for us to get most things correct but we do have an idea when you say we are right and we are not. Mediums will not be offended if you don’t understand something or reply with a “no”.
Consider if there’s a healthy amount of unique information included
Sensibly at times ask yourself if everything said so far would fit the majority of people. Look out for information that is particular to you only. Watch out for the average granny that baked, the “parent” that had a temper” the nanny with the pinny, the things that we all could agree to.
Evidence is in the accuracy of information received
If you do have an interest in a sitting I would advise that you approach the subject with an open mind. If you visit a medium reach your own conclusions based on the percentage of specific information you were provided with weighed against what I term “the fluffy stuff” ie the statements that would match 99% of sitters.
I’ve not met a medium yet that hits 100% accurate information with every single statement for every single sitting and we all have days when for reasons we often don’t know sittings are just a struggle. If you are of a certain age range and your “Nan” is of an average height and of an average age, with a pantry who is wearing an apron, and had a problem breathing as she passed then, in my opinion, the quality of the sitting is not of a high enough standard and you shouldn’t be expected to pay. There really should be a healthy balance of statements specific about the person that doesn’t fit all if you wiggle it about and bend it a bit.
Don’t pay for an inferior service
Consumer Protect Rights protect UK clients. You have the right to stop the sitting if it isn’t good enough. If the food in a restaurant isn’t up to scratch you wouldn’t pay. If your sitting isn’t of a good enough standard I would suggest you don’t pay. It’s the same principle. You expect a professional service and if you don’t get it why should you pay? Mediums that pressurise you into paying for sub-standard sittings should be brought to the attention of your local Trading Standards Office.
A genuine medium wouldn’t expect payment for an inferior sitting. A financially driven opportunist however would. The way you are treated when sittings aren’t going to plan is just as important (if not more so) than when they are. Consumer Law is in your favour. Be fair. When the majority of the sitting provides accurate unique information you should be prepared to pay the requested amount. If half of the sitting was good maybe negotiate a lower amount.
Follow up sittings and a mediums motives
I am at times asked to arrange further sittings shortly after successful ones. In my opinion to agree immediately would be unhealthy for the requestor who needs at times to let go and move on in their life so my response is always that I would sit again for them but respectfully ask that they wait for at least 6 months. There have been many times when I could easily have reached for the diary and repeatedly booked them in with only the financial aspects considered and this would be so very wrong.
Contacts with loved ones in a Mediumship sitting should be about celebrating their life and their shared memories. They should be about taking the opportunity it brings to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the person’s spirit never dies and to sensitively relay that message in order to bring comfort to those this side of life. It should not be a repetitive regular meet up that ultimately fuels the mediums bank account and feeds the sitters grieving process in an unhealthy manner.
We all have off days
All mediums, however good, experience off days. It is the way that they treat you when they do that is extremely important and will influence whether you attempt another sitting with them at a later date. If you have had a good experience with a medium tell your friends, the medium will appreciate the advertisement. If you have had a bad experience with a medium again tell your friends as those working with the wrong intent will find it more difficult to work as knowledge about them spreads. They do of course have the option to either improve their standards of Mediumship or retire. I do urge you, however, to be fair in whatever you tell others. A medium is a representative of the Spirit World. At times it’s a very hard yet rewarding position with a high level of responsibility.
How long should I wait for a reattempt
We all get times when a sitting hasn’t gone well in which case I will not have charged for my time. If requested to do so I may attempt to sit again but would request that the sitter waits for at least 6 months before the next try. This gives time for Spirit friends to work on the difficulties experienced and prepare for the next sitting and so far this seems to have brought about the desired effect as the second sittings have up until now been much more successful than the first. Those helping from the Spirit World will do as much as they possibly can to ensure the next sitting is successful. We do however need to give them the time needed to make those adjustments so 6 months to me seems a practical suggestion.
The 6 month waiting time also presents the sitter with an opportunity to consider whether they want to try again with me or look for a different medium. The way that I treat the sitter determines their future actions. I am building a service based on reputation. Mediums must be honest about the difficulties they experience. Nothing can take place that has the potential to destroy the very thing I’m attempting to achieve. One sitting now incorporating any fraudulent activity could potentially remove the opportunity for other special reunions between sitters and their loved ones in future – so why would I?
Is the sitting a failure?
I believe that NO sitting is ever a failure. Even if I’ve struggled I’ve started off a process of learning for those trying to contact the sitter and they can learn how to contact at a later date in a clearer way.
Monetary exchanges form contracts
(UK specific information) A contract exists when a medium accepts money from you. Donations and payments are regulated by Consumer Protection from Unfair Trading Regulations 2008. This means that the person taking the money has to provide you with exactly what they have said. The Trading Standards Office will advise if you have a problem. The Professional body the medium belongs to will also have an interest in issues reported.
Approach a medium with an open mind and let them try to work for you and you may find that you have an opportunity to rediscover those you thought had gone forever. Professional mediums will not try to convert you or your beliefs and expect very little in return. After all, the providing of factual evidence that proves beyond reasonable doubt that your loved ones have survived death, and having the ability to reconnect you with them is very rewarding. There’s no need for us to make anything up, the information is there available for us to use. Your loved ones want to connect with you. They want to connect with you. We want to be of service. It’s a recipe for success in most cases. We make progress. Those first important steps are in place.
Tell everyone honestly how you’re experience was. The good mediums would appreciate the recommendations. The more that know about those that aren’t’ good the better as it makes it harder for them to work. Be fair though. How did the medium treat you?
Thank you for taking the time to visit my site. I hope it has been of interest to you and always appreciate any relevant comments you may have.
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