Dealing with the NO word

As serving mediums, we can’t ask the ground to open up and swallow us if we get a string of no responses while working. I’ve not heard of any recent great escapes taking place while banging one’s heels together shouting “there’s no place like home”! What then are some of the options when faced with the dreaded NO word?

It happens to us all

We all get times when we seem to receive an endless list of confidence destroying “no no no no NOs”! but does it really have to be an ouch ouch ouch ouch OUCH experience? I think not. Does it define our mediumship as a whole? of course not!

I’m sure that all mediums, whether experienced or just starting out will at times be on the receiving end of the dreaded no word but it doesn’t have to be a career-ending experience. Should we really dread something which may provide an opportunity to improve our mediumship if we work through it?

When it FEELS like we are RIGHT?

Sometimes while we are passing on messages we are met with a NO response yet we may really feel that what we received was definitely from the spirit world and that we are right.

Our first reaction may be “I can’t do this” or “I’m not good enough” (often on my part escalated to my handing my notice into the Spirit World if it doesn’t improve)! Goodness knows how many times my guides and helpers have started preparing themselves to receive my resignation however, fortunately, like many things in life I’ve never got around to completing the paperwork!

So we (not the spirit world) decide we are rubbish! We are rubbish, we can’t do this, we don’t know why we bother, we’re disillusioned or we simply decide that our imagination is at work again and that we are making it up. Some of us may decide the sitter doesn’t like us or (like sometimes happens) they have just come to tear our work apart or challenge us as their own beliefs make it hard for them to accommodate what we do.

Only a moment ago we were so sure we’d got something right, plucked up the courage to share more information and no no no NO, ouch ouch ouch ouch OUCH!  But secretly inside we KNOW we are right don’t we? we can just FEEL it!

The sitter is unlikely to intentionally be obstructive

It does happen from time to time and I’ve certainly experienced it, however, the vast majority of sitters request the services of a medium as they would genuinely like a communication from a loved one and a chance to receive a message that proves their loved one has arrived safely in the spirit world. They can however at times struggle to place accurate information through no fault of their own and this happened to me a few years ago sitting the other side of the microphone.

Sitters unintentional mental blocks

click image to visit Tonys website

An example of my own rather embarrassing mental block occurred a few years ago when Tony Stockwell hosted an evening at the Norwich Puppet Theatre. In front of nearly 300 other people Tony gave me a very specific message from a friend that he proved beyond any doubt was communicating with him. He then went on to inform me that he was aware of me working in a garage and I replied no, very unlikely that would ever be the case.

Tony ==> “OK will you understand then I see you spending a lot of time in a garage”?

The muppet that is me at times responds with a nice clear “No”…..

Tony ==> “I don’t want to tell everyone your business but why wouldn’t you understand you’re working in a garage”?

Engaging ones enhanced dumb mode that’s so embedded in me at times I responded with “Because I don’t know much about cars”. GENUINELY having forgotten that my garage at home had just been converted into a beautiful mediumship room which I’m in now as I type this document.

Tony represented the information in a number of ways never moving away from the truth behind the statement and I fortunately then had a sudden moment of realisation during the demonstration which enabled me to accept the information as I then knew what was being discussed. A prime example of a top quality medium with the correct information being right, yet still being faced with a negative response through no malice or hidden agenda on the sitters part.

Fortunately, when faced with a no response a very high level experienced medium demonstrated the correct way to proceed ensuring the integrity of the information was maintained and not lost.  Now, what would have happened if Tony had not persevered, not gone back to the spirit world and clarified the information? I learned much that evening about the perspective of the sitter and the unintentional mental blocks on the part of the sitter that at times we really can’t prevent.

Destroying the sitting ourselves

It happens, and I see this time and time again. A medium often with much potential lets go of information and gives up and decides to move on and gets nothing simply because they’ve let their mind move away from the job in hand. They have slipped out of that power they work within and lost their focus. If they do recover and get back into the power they may again pick up the same information they received previously which they’ve already written off so again they give up, drop out of that power and decide to given themselves a spiritual bashing (all of which emanates from this side of life)! The medium effectively destroys the sitting and for a short while their confidence and self-belief.

Translation problems

It could simply be that the information being received is correct but then it’s been translated or described incorrectly by the medium. The information hasn’t been fully investigated or explored and instead has been discarded too early. The Spirit World still want the information delivered so we see the same thing that we’ve just been given a NO to and we can’t move on as Spirit will not pass us different information until we’ve successfully delivered that which they are communicating to us. We become stuck and at this point, the success or failure of the sitting is very much in the hands of the medium and how they proceed. We can ask the spirit world to help us present the information in a way it can be understood and it may be a point when we also find that the information is incorrect and we can move on.

Is the sitter just being kind?

If after a number of no response we then find when we start getting “yes” responses it’s natural if we aren’t confident enough in our abilities to enter into the “are they just saying yes to be nice to us” phase. Those times when you want to ask the sitter “really, is that really right”? We then cast doubt on the very foundation of our work and that’s not acceptable for are we not then also casting doubt on those special communicators and bringing the spirit world into question. With experience, we can, of course, feel when the sitter is being truthful or not and do they really think we don’t know?

The intelligence of the Spirit World

We must remember we are dealing with an intelligence that is sending us that information and we can interrogate the source of that information, ask for additional supporting information, ask for assistance, send up a “come on guys I feel I’m on the right track help me out here” and investigate what we are receiving to determine what the meaning behind the information really is.

An example from a group night

We’ve shared many wonderful training nights at mine and most nights everyone does really well. I would, however, like to share one example that occurred that I hope helps others reading this post.

A very capable lady in a group of mine is working with an item in a psychometry evening and issues the following statements to another friend:

  • I believe you have just had a very busy day – NO
  • I believe you have a dog – NO
  • something about water – err, NO! (see how that floppy statement indicates doubt creeping in)?

Three strikes and out?

Tempting for the lady trying to provide the information certainly. But what if that information is of value, has an importance, is, in fact, being received from the Spirit World? We have to determine firstly if we are wrong i.e. it feels wrong because we can be and have to recognise that happens. No one is 100% right with every statement ALL of the time (except of course my lovely wife Tracey), Hmm moving on….

If we FEEL that information is still right we need to go back into that information to find out what it means and with a little help that night we did that and were presented with the following statement:

“I believe that you know a person in the Spirit World who was always very very busy, had a dog and lived near the sea” – the response changed to a Yes Yes Yes…….

The very same information, therefore, is presented with a little more understanding and that information is then understood. Proof that the practising medium is RIGHT, and having delivered information built around the first 3 simple images provides someone in spirit an opportunity to communicate with someone they know.

FANTASTIC and exactly what the Spirit World and the medium are trying to achieve. This very nearly becoming one of those turn our back and run experiences! With a little more effort and openness they turned that “No I can’t do this” into “actually, I am getting the information but I haven’t had the confidence or tried to interrogate and ask why I’m getting that information”.

We then have to build more on that information as they are quite open statements, however, having set that foundation in place for the communication to take place puts us in a much better place than we were a few minutes previously.

Picking up the power again

If you getting lots of “No” responses with your mediumship have a think about whether you may be letting go of the information and are moving on too quickly? I urge you to take a moment to accept you have that “no” and go back into that power, and ask what is behind it. We now that while that power can be held and that connection with the Spirit World is maintained that there’s always the opportunity to obtain more relevant and accurate information.

Question the Spirit World

Investigate WHY that information has been received. The Spirit World will not waste time sending you information that is wrong but we must learn to ask for additional information if we can’t deliver it correctly. Our spirit friends will try as much as they can to lead you to the correct statements and we mustn’t forget that those helpers, inspirers, guides and relatives in the Spirit World have to learn how we work and they’ll adapt and find a way to work with us just like we have to do to learn how they work from their side of life.

One’s mediumship gently unfolds over a lifetime yet the wrong reaction to the NO word has the potential to destroy a very capable medium if an investigation into those no responses doesn’t take place. Sadly this may also remove an opportunity for a loved one to connect back to our world and it may be a very long time until they get that opportunity again!

Thanks for reading, I hope this has been helpful. If you have any relevant comments to add to this post please do so below. All comments will be checked by me prior to sharing with other readers and I always appreciate readers valuable input.

Shane

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